Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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