New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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