I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
