Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
