is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your cock deserves a montage
i've created a new STD.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
