Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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