To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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