i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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