Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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