what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
