I'm gonna have a badass scar
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
