You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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