I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
