meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
