will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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