thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
