If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
