i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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