so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
