So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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