At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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