Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
