just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im holly from the hills drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
