Swine flu. Run for my life!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
