But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
