I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
