Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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