"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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