Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
