you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize