the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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