let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
