I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
