Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize
