I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
