im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
