No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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