is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
