so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
