Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
