My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
