My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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