Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
