wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
