I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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