ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
