Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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