i would punch a child for taco bell
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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