I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize