wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
