I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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