Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
