I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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