Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
