Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
