watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
