counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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