dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wear drunk well.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
