I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
