I wish i was in the wii world.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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