Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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