I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
