the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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