Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize